This is long overdue. I started the layout last week, I needed sometime to think about my first post. I used to write journals. As a matter of fact, I still have here my notebooks of writings since high school. It's nice to go on virtual. While I'm writing this, I should be listening to an easy listening music of some sort cause I'm pretty perked up right now.
It's a threadbare phrase, that my ex-boyfriend and I broke up more than a month ago. I'm now in the point where I don't want to dig into the details anymore because I don't want to remember it. I was thinking "Why did you make me wait 2 years just to tell me you are longing for time to think if you need me?" He then told me, he's letting go because he does not want me to leave him since I have plans of going abroad. It's a pathetic curse of 6 feet under self-esteem. And I felt so sorry for myself for making future plans with this guy. I never mistrusted him. I thought, a person who has not reached his level of self-awareness will have a hard time adapting to this situation. Given that I was his almost everything - Confidante, Trustee, Sister, Nurse, Mother, Immediate Person, Teacher, Lover, Adviser, Cleaner etc. But i was wrong.
This was us 2 months ago when we celebrated his birthday in Sagada. He thanked me and Sagada wonderfully for making him happy during his birthday on his facebook wall. A week after that, he spent the weekend with his friends. Another week after that I went out with my friends, we fought. His insecurities soar. He broke up with me through txt. Brave, right?
Two weeks of silence passed, a common friend set up a rendezvous for us. He said he'll come for the opportunity to speak me but he chickened out. He backed out the next day. He said he does not have the face to show me anymore. I was fuming mad at him for being the chicken shit as always. I went to his place to confront him. But to my surprise, he's in his room with his friend/officemate/neighbor. Bad words were thrown in the air. We ended up hurting each other emotionally and physically. It was a terrible experience. They say everybody is entitled for a first shot. I got mine then. There was closure.
I celebrated my birthday two weeks after that. My family and I had a picnic in Tagaytay the day before my birthday. My good friend Charles and a couple of cousins were with me drinking during the salubong. The next day, I hit the road and fetched my bestfriend Marie in Pampanga. We went off to swimming and partying in La Union at the night of my birthday. The following day, we spent the whole afternoon with Marie's brother's family. He mixed some club songs for me as a birthday gift. Sunday night, we set off to Baguio to meet my cousin Mew. It was an overwhelmingly cheap but fun roadtrip. I gathered all my friends the following week and set up a house party. Liquors and cocktails were everywhere. We had so much fun.
Then, 5 days ago I was terrified by what I saw on my friend's post. It was a photo of my ex embracing the girl that I saw in his apartment when I confronted him. It was nerve-racking. I'm still disturbed by what I saw.
This is them now. 2 months after Sagada. 1 1/2 months after the break-up. I almost threw up when I saw these posted on fb. I was laughingly stunned. One of our common friends said "OMG! ___ What have you done to yourself?!" I heard this girl was speaking bad things about me in their office after the break-up and I did not even lifted a finger. My bestfriend told me "Kamuka nya ung girl na nag-alok ng 100 peso bj sken sa Cubao dati." Ofcourse he is just being rude. Now you've got your price. Susuntukin ka rin nyan paginatake yan ng moderate anxiety. I feel so sorry for myself but I pity them more. I don't have to elaborate his loss from our relationship. He could have been saved from his piteous future. I can just imagine him telling our friends "Wala kayong pakialam. Mahal ko xa!" Owkey. I could not describe how thankful I am for leaving such a no-brainer.
This was us 2 months ago when we celebrated his birthday in Sagada. He thanked me and Sagada wonderfully for making him happy during his birthday on his facebook wall. A week after that, he spent the weekend with his friends. Another week after that I went out with my friends, we fought. His insecurities soar. He broke up with me through txt. Brave, right?
Two weeks of silence passed, a common friend set up a rendezvous for us. He said he'll come for the opportunity to speak me but he chickened out. He backed out the next day. He said he does not have the face to show me anymore. I was fuming mad at him for being the chicken shit as always. I went to his place to confront him. But to my surprise, he's in his room with his friend/officemate/neighbor. Bad words were thrown in the air. We ended up hurting each other emotionally and physically. It was a terrible experience. They say everybody is entitled for a first shot. I got mine then. There was closure.
I celebrated my birthday two weeks after that. My family and I had a picnic in Tagaytay the day before my birthday. My good friend Charles and a couple of cousins were with me drinking during the salubong. The next day, I hit the road and fetched my bestfriend Marie in Pampanga. We went off to swimming and partying in La Union at the night of my birthday. The following day, we spent the whole afternoon with Marie's brother's family. He mixed some club songs for me as a birthday gift. Sunday night, we set off to Baguio to meet my cousin Mew. It was an overwhelmingly cheap but fun roadtrip. I gathered all my friends the following week and set up a house party. Liquors and cocktails were everywhere. We had so much fun.
Then, 5 days ago I was terrified by what I saw on my friend's post. It was a photo of my ex embracing the girl that I saw in his apartment when I confronted him. It was nerve-racking. I'm still disturbed by what I saw.
This is them now. 2 months after Sagada. 1 1/2 months after the break-up. I almost threw up when I saw these posted on fb. I was laughingly stunned. One of our common friends said "OMG! ___ What have you done to yourself?!" I heard this girl was speaking bad things about me in their office after the break-up and I did not even lifted a finger. My bestfriend told me "Kamuka nya ung girl na nag-alok ng 100 peso bj sken sa Cubao dati." Ofcourse he is just being rude. Now you've got your price. Susuntukin ka rin nyan paginatake yan ng moderate anxiety. I feel so sorry for myself but I pity them more. I don't have to elaborate his loss from our relationship. He could have been saved from his piteous future. I can just imagine him telling our friends "Wala kayong pakialam. Mahal ko xa!" Owkey. I could not describe how thankful I am for leaving such a no-brainer.
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